


Skeletons in the Closet and Corpses in the Backseat

by YunoJuno



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Burying a dead body, First Dates, Fluff, Ice Cream, Kissing, M/M, Murder, Stairs, fucking stairs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2019-02-17 14:24:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13078749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YunoJuno/pseuds/YunoJuno
Summary: The almost romantic adventures of burying a dead body.





	Skeletons in the Closet and Corpses in the Backseat

**Author's Note:**

> I'd like to thank juulookzousketchy on tumblr for beta-reading this for me ^^

Elevators were a truly handy invention, bringing with them the ability to far more easily transport things not only to and forth but also up and down. They had become a natural part of modern architecture and every office building and the majority of anything with five or more floors had one. No one had made it a habit to pay attention to these but were they to all suddenly disappear surely they would notice the increase in workload, especially those who had it as their job to deliver anything between heaven and earth. While the general population would simply carry on walking up and down the stairs the poor delivery people found themselves forced to pull heavy packages up multiple flights of bumpy stairs.

Another significant element that served to differentiate stairs from elevators was the fact that people could be pushed down a flight of stairs while falling from an elevator is a far more complicated affair, as Takizawa would soon find out.

Presently though, he was much too engaged in a heated debate with a younger white-haired boy concerning whether the amount of candy said boy had brought to the workplace could be considered inappropriate working environment or not to ponder over the nature of stairways.

“...Always making a mess!” He finished shouting indignantly as he turned his head in a dramatic fashion. A rather embarrassing display of his inability to control his temper but Juuzou had the unique ability not only get on his nerves but flat out run them over with a truck. On the other hand, Seidou’s upset ranting hardly phased the younger investigator as he tore the packaging off of his seventh bar of candy and held it up for his brunette coworker to see.

“Keep talking and I’ll die of boredom any second now,” Juuzou said and waved the wrapper around gleefully before throwing it up into the air.

“Why you…” Seidou snatched the piece of trash from midair and glared at his colleague. The argument neared its climax but before another outraged statement could be shouted across the hallway the two found themselves interrupted.

“Will you two stop fighting in the corridor.” An older investigator reprimanded them annoyedly. He was taller than the both of them and the way he waved his arm in front of their faces with a condescending look was irking.

“If you get your head out of your ass I just might.” Juuzou giggled. He had heard it before but never had the opportunity to use it himself. It felt oddly exciting to be so snarky. The recipient of his sass didn’t react anywhere near as favorably though. The man grew red-faced and took an aggressive step toward Juuzou, at which point Seidou felt the need to intervene lest should the situation turn ugly.

In retrospect, Takizawa’s need to de-escalate the conflict might have been the final trigger that kicked it into overdrive. In his haste to take a step forward and get into the middle of the forming thundercloud of animosity, he stumbled lightly and wobbly steadied himself at the exact same moment that caused him to crash into the other, advancing man. The brunette was shoved away rougher than strictly necessary.

“What was that for!?” He demanded to which he was told, “it is your own fault for interfering.” This in itself was a ridiculously hypocritical standpoint, as he himself had felt the need to interrupt and escalate the previously much tamer disagreement only moments ago. A certain white-haired investigator has had enough time to grow as annoyed with this as the narrator and decided that action was to be taken.

“Will you,” Juuzou started, placing both of his hands in the center of the other’s chest and shoving as hard as he was physically capable of, “shut up!” He finished shouting.

By nature, Juuzou simply seemed unable to fit in with the general masses and Seidou knew this, and pushing someone- even if it was a hard push- wasn’t even enough to raise an eyebrow of anyone in the vicinity anymore. As much as the albino’s antics caused him annoyance even he would admit that there were some people that deserved a good shove. The problem only aroused when instead of landing hard on the floor he kept falling and falling and falling until he landed at the bottom of the stairway with oddly angled limbs.

“YOU KILLED HIM! Oh my god Juuzou you killed him!” Seidou shouted horrified.

“Stop. Shh, quiet. Shut up, don’t scream.” Juuzou snapped his fingers as he repeated every word and phrase for be quiet that he could remember at that moment. Seidou didn’t calm down but at the very least he stopped screaming bloody murder. Instead, he opted for pacing around in a circle, worst case scenario after worst case scenario spewing out of his mouth. Meanwhile, his younger coworker remained calm at least outwardly and pulled lightly on the stitches adorning his lips in thought.

“We need to get rid of him.” He concluded with finality and cemented his decision with the gesture of tapping his clenched fist on the palm of his open one and looking satisfied with the conclusion. Seidou abruptly stopped his nervous shifting to stare scandalized at Juuzou.

“You're not seriously suggesting… A-are you?” He chuckled nervously, feeling oddly numb. His brain wasn’t able to process anything as the shock settled in, creating a comfortable void between him and his usual temper “that’s horrible, we’ll get caught either way. Just…” he scrambled for suggestions, “say it was an accident!”

“No can do, there is surveillance footage of it for sure.” Juuzou squinted his eyes to look around for cameras, with the level of security CCG aimed to keep it was only natural they’d employ surveillance equipment virtually everywhere in their buildings.

“Then what's the point of doing anything if they have it on tape anyway?” Seidou shouted back at his colleague while pulling increasingly harshly at his hair, “did you ever think that far, huh?!”

“Actually,” Juuzou put up a finger and began explaining with a smug grin, “if he just disappears without anyone knowing from where no way are they going to look through all the footage from the multiple places he could've hypothetically have visited before that. And the inside of their own headquarters much less.”

“Oh...” Seidou deflated and finally shut up.

“Wait, how do you know so much about that in the first place?” He narrowed his eyes suspiciously at Juuzou.

“Nevermind that, help me move this.” The white-haired investigator had meanwhile moved down the stairs and stood directly over the corpse, kicking it lightly. Too exhausted to argue, Takizawa grabbed the feet and let the younger lead the way. As the stairs hadn’t been too far away from a back door leading out to the parking spaces they reached there without issue.

Heaving a dead body into the backseat of his car was an entirely new experience for Seidou and went much less smoothly than he would have wished but when the three of them- because even if the guy was dead it felt less awkward than acknowledging that he and Juuzou were alone together outside of work for any reason at all- left the parking lot the atmosphere eased up considerably.

“I would kill for a snack right now,” Juuzou said as they drove by a dainty cafe and Seidou had to press down his foot on the brakes as hard as he was physically capable of to not steer off the road giggling like a lunatic.

“That’s it, You’ve finally driven me mad.” He wheezed out between fits of laughter, “this is terrible, h-ahaha…” As they were already practically parked outside the cafe Seidou pushed the door on the driver’s side open and got out.

“Let’s stop for a bit,” He answered Juuzou’s silent question, “didn’t you say you wanted a snack?”

Five minutes later a waitress set down a multicolored monstrosity of sugar on their table. Whether the sparkling of Juuzou’s eyes reflected in the clear topping sauce or if it went the other way around was impossible to tell. The girl distributed a fork each and smiled cheerfully before leaving the booth giggling. Immediately, the younger of the two sunk his fork into the cake while Seidou just watched him, twirling the piece of silverware anxiously in his right hand.

“Not gonna eat?” Juuzou paused and looked up at Seidou. There was a questioning look on his face and some crumbs on his chin.

“I’m not hungry,” The brunette explained, “you can have all of it if you want to.”

“Then why’d you stop here? We do have places to be right now.” Like dumping a corpse in the harbor, Seidou thought morbidly.

“Why not? If we fucked up this badly already we might as well enjoy ourselves.” He sighed as he put an elbow on the table and leaned on it.

“That’s not like you at all,” Juuzou giggled, “but I actually like it this way. This tasted so good, taste it.” Obediently Seidou picked up his fork and made a move to do just that when he was stopped by the sharp points of a fork hovering in front of his eye. Juuzou lowered the fork when he froze so that it was leveled with his mouth and smiled a closed eye smile. Embarrassed Seidou followed his direction and took the fork into his mouth. The cake did taste very good.

When Juuzou retrieved his cutlery the older of the two was red-faced and sunk lower into his seat, blushing madly by the second.

“This is kind of like a date right?” Juuzou said and Takizawa shot up from his chair, choking on the sweets he had just eaten.

“Why would you say that?!” He exclaimed loudly before realizing where they were and sitting down stiffly. Takizawa repeated his question, this time quieter.

“But this is what people do on dates.” Juuzou cocked his head. He sounded like he was trying to explain advanced calculus to a first grader. The younger investigator hadn’t considered the what-if scenario of Seidou having less of a clue than him on this topic but judging by the way he was acting that very well might’ve been that case. Juuzou had read one of those magazines that you could find lying around while waiting to get your haircut that marketed itself towards teenage girls and as such he was growing surer by the minute that they were indeed on one.

“I guess… I guess I wouldn’t mind that…” Seidou almost-whispered and glanced anywhere but at his partner in crime. The silence that followed remained for an entire five minutes until Juuzou was done and decided they should leave. A conversation started to grow fourth while they climbed into the car and for once it remained pleasant and lighthearted between the two of them.

“Here is good!” The white-haired investigator shouted at the dark haired driver and they made a sharp turn onto a side road and drove right up to the water. The dock they had ended up at was deserted and the afternoon sun cast long shadows over them. It looked like the perfect place for a shady meet-up… or to hide a dead body.

Together they pulled their murder victim from the car and laid him flat on the ground.

“He’s heavy. Bet he’ll sink like a rock.” Juuzou grunted. This triggered a far away memory of something Seidou was sure he had read somewhere.

“Doesn't um, corpses float?” It felt weird calling him a corpse but that was what he was now, a corpse.

“Shit, they do,” Juuzou swore mildly and hit the side of his own head. “We need to tie him to a block of cement.”

“That’s a bit dramatic, I’m sure a stone will do the job.” Looking around, one would discover that the two investigators were surrounded by multiple items that to quote Seidou ‘would do the job’. Construction materials of all sizes and weights were laying around ready to be used or abused.

“Wait.” When Seidou moved to take a closer look at anything useful he felt Juuzou grab his shirt. Turning around he found himself face to face with his younger coworker, mere inches separating them. Juuzou looked into his eyes with a small smile.

“This is how a date is supposed to end,” Juuzou said and Seidou instantly understood what he meant. A stuttered out denial died out on his lips when he realized that he kind of wanted it to happen. Blushing all the way to the tips of his ears Seidou leaned in and placed his lips against Juuzou’s.

Juuzou tasted sweet and sugary, like the cake they had eaten together and his lips were soft and Seidou could feel the stitches that the edge and it made him squirm but he continued anyway because it felt better than anything he had ever felt before. Tentatively he placed a hand on the small of Juuzou’s back and assisted the smaller boy in deepening their kiss.

Then Juuzou pulled away and the amazing feeling was gone leaving his lips tingling lightly and his face beet red.

“We need to go on dates more often.” Juuzou called over his shoulder as he poked at a piece of rock, following it up with, “this one is good,” like the sudden make out hadn’t affected him visibly the least.

Seidou shook off his embarrassment to help Juuzou pull the rock over to the body. Squatting down Juuzou took ahold of one ankle and got to work. A hand grabbed Seidou’s arm just then and as he was sitting on the opposite side where the shoulders were located there was no way it could have been Juuzou’s.

“Zombie!” He scrambled back with panic in his eyes as the not-actually-dead-man sat up and blinked harshly. They never did check his pulse.

“Woah!” Juuzou let go of the stone and joined Seidou in shuffling away awkwardly. The two partners in crime made eye contact and glanced at the car. It was parked barely three meters from them and when they met eyes again Juuzou nodded and as if on cue they both turned and bolted. The no longer murder victim made a move to follow but the two of them had a head start and by the time their pursuer reached the car Juuzou slammed the door right in his face making him fall to the ground once again.

Seidou let the car bolt forward and throw itself into a u-turn more startling than what you’d find in most action movies. They rejoined the main road and its glorious traffic, Juuzou urging his driver to break more than a few traffic laws. When the stress had finally settled Seidou started choking on his own words as he tried not to laugh and Juuzou soon joined him in the mad giggling.

Since the car belonged to Takizawa and Juuzou, in contrast, did not possess one Seidou dropped the younger investigator off at his house before going home himself.

As soon as Seidou showed up at work the next day though the odd haze of happiness came crashing down. At his desk stood none other than Houji. His expression was unreadable but if Seidou had to guess he’d say it was a mix of disappointment and disbelief. Apparently, they were asked to pay a visit to Marude.

And just as he would have guessed, when they arrived four people were already waiting. That being Marude, the not dead guy, Juuzou, and Shinohara.

Surprisingly though, the person Houji seemed the angriest at was not him but Shinohara. It was natural that eventually letting Juuzou do whatever he wanted would have had horrible consequences, apparently. Ignoring their arguing Juuzou came over to sit beside Seidou and leaned over to speak.

“I want our next date to be at an amusement park.” He said, making idle conversation. Or not, it seemed as silence fell upon the room. And then...

“Next…”

“...Date?!”

“You consider that a date” “Nono, more importantly, you two are in a relationship?” “Since when?” “Why would you let Juuzou have such a terrible influence on you?!” “Are relationships between coworkers even allowed?”

… Then they were swarmed with questions.


End file.
